I think we are over exposed. We are over exposed to everything, and it makes us question ourselves, our jobs and more recently, our relationships. Overexposure is kind of the biggest issue for us millennial / hipster / confused / money hungry / social media obsessed generation.
Don't get me wrong, I am that person. I am SO totally that person 110%. Nothing is ever good enough because I am so over exposed to the 'successes' of my fellow peers and complete strangers on the internet that I've started questioning myself, what I want from life, my values and, worryingly, my happiness.
Overexposure affects all of us in many ways. Our parents may have read the occasional 'Hello!' and been like, "Oh, isn't Lady Diana lovely?" or "Seems as though all of the who's who are holidaying in Capri this year". But here we are, one generation down the line, all overly qualified and eager to self deprecate at the sight of someone else's (not even remotely royal) beach body and fresh Instagram pic of a Bali coconut, poised between their hotdog legs on a beach so heavily filtered you wouldn't even recognise it if you were sat there. We have so many internet induced bench marks for ourselves which are based on the lives of others on social media and it bugs me, it affects us, and its starting to give us some pretty unrealistic #relationshipgoals.
Measured against the typical stereotype of what is a perfect relationship: manboy (no males I know are actually men, apart from my Step Father) working in some high pressured role where he actually does relativity straight forward tasks, nothing that his Golden Triangle / Ivy League education couldn't handle. Then there are the girls; brushed and groomed within an eyebrow hair, bronzer in all the right places (still have no idea what I'm doing with bronzer) preferably working at some sort of fashion institution, which promotes a size 26 waist combined with a sample sale set of heels. The job isn't taxing, but it's underpaid, the hours are long and they are generally (GENERALLY) over qualified. This guy, overpaid, and this girl, overly manicured, go together like truffle shavings on mac and cheese. One just works to complement the other, I mean, you don't need it, but boy, is it a handsome, sickly combination.
So this couple, they look good, right? They're there - everywhere, in NYC, London, Hong Kong, walking around TriBeCa, Notting Hill, SoHo, going for dinner - looking perfect, having abs and making you feel inadequate - but don't worry, she's actually been starving for almost a year now, and he's been drinking like a fish to forget that she's actually a massive bitch and he hates his job, and now, because of their 'perfect' life, no-one else is able to tolerate their vanity and distaste for anything imperfect, so no-one wants to play with them anymore. All they do is spend time with each other, because nobody else can stomach her contoured facade and small talk about their latest kilim rug and trendy house plant, and everyone has noticed his mood swings and change of character around her. But does knowing that make us feel any better? Not really.
So what am I saying? I want to be skinny, go for dinner, work in fashion and have a moody boyfriend? No, well obviously I want to be skinny, who doesn't want that? And I do LOVE going for dinner... I think the point I'm making is that it's all to easy to feel miserable by means of comparison. To undervalue yourself is probably one of the worst things you can do, and why do we do it? Because we have this ridiculous point of reference -namely- The Internet. It's making us feel bad and sad and it gives us couple goals that are beginning to impede our actual goals.
So what if we don't all holiday in some cool exotic location every month? So what if our respective partner isn't actually a fitness lunatic who does press-ups while I do yoga perched on his back as our pet looks on adoringly (WHO is taking all of these photos by the way?) So what if one day on the weekend we blob around, eat pizza while covered in cat hairs and binge-watch Game of Thrones?
Comparing ourselves to others is getting a bit boring and I'm wondering if there is such a thing as a generic #RelationshipGoal. After all, we are all different, so how can we expect our #goals to be the same? What's good for the manicured and overpaid goose, is not necessarily good for the humankind gander.
I was inspired to write this while recently away on a city break with my taller other half. We honestly really like each other so it's nice when we can spend time alone together. I was loving life, getting ready for dinner in the ginormous bath and lurking on Instagram - naturally. Later, while we out for the evening having dinner, thinking of how best to describe dry white wine without saying the word "dry", I rather randomly asked him what he would change about me (after seeing so many "perfect" relationships online earlier). He told me, and then I told him. It was so refreshingly genuine and honest of us. We agreed that we would work on our downfalls because we want the other person to always feel loved and special. We then decided that 'tangy' was the best word for the Pinot Gris we shared and proceeded to be very sweet and annoying at the dinner table and joked about how #RelationshipGoals we were.
Of course, in this story it's all very sweet and didn't end up in a fight, but it's not a perfect relationship every single second, but the other 59 seconds are pretty great. I will always have some insecurities about finance fiancés and 4 carat ladies, or those tanned and toned beach babes with their happy shoeless surfer boyfriends that I see on the internet.
So what I'm trying to say, is please don't pick a flaw with your partner because of something you saw on social media and want for yourself - some 16 year old with ace eyebrows being hoisted into the setting, ocean-side sun, by her jock boyfriend - because you don't live anywhere near the ocean and you're not even American.
Having access to beautiful couples should help us to feel grateful that we are all different and that is what makes us special. Not every relationship is perfect, and I think it's important to remain realistic and love yourself, others and cherish what it is that makes you and your relationship different and what really makes you happy, because I think life through comparison is just not living.
What do you think? Are couple goals impacting our relationships, or they just harmless fun? x
Unless otherwise stated, all images taken from @couplegoals instagram, and yes. That's really a thing.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3024242/Wish-impossibly-beautiful-couple-travel-snaps-trump-no-wonder-two-million-followers-Instagram.html - a really good couple goals example?