As I was at the airport flying home for Christmas, I started thinking about all of those who too, were flying to be somewhere. It made me think of all the times I've flown since moving to Hong Kong. I've been on a lot of flights, especially long haul ones these past 18 months. Zzz...
So I thought about all of the joys of flying - there aren't (m)any. Here are the stages of travelling anywhere:
Better leave the house extra early in case of emergencies. Don't even mind being there 3 hours before the flight.
OMG I forgot to pack my ~insert treasured item~ !
Why am I so early? There's literally nothing to do here.
Jeez slow down already stressy people
This queue is smaller than that queue, better get ahead just in case *larger queue moves quicker*
Can you please not breathe all over me
Shit do I have any hidden liquids in my bag?
I don't care about liquids anyway - I've secretly got a few stashed to see if they notice.
I'm bored. Where are all the hotties? I hope I'm sitting next to a babe on the plane
Maybe I'll just stock up on food and drink just in case *buys food enough for family of 4*
Maybe I'll have a quick drink?
Ooohhh plane time!
Why do they make us walk past business? This is so degrading and lame.
Who wants to fly business anyway it's such a waste of money
How rich do you actually have to be to fly buisness?
One day I'll fly business everywhere
I know that good looking people exist, but what odds does it take to sit next to one on the plane? I mean is it really too much to ask?
Excuse me, sorry flight attendant, can I get some water please? I'm actually really really thirsty and I'm so dehydrated I might die but you looked awfully busy and anyway, before I shrivel up, can I actually get two cups?
When is the food coming dammit
Oh why yes, I'll have all the alcohol thanks.
FILMS! Seen it, seen it, seen it. Lame, oh! No - not in the mood. Ugh.
Can I ask for another meal? I wanted to try the pasta but accidentally ordered the chicken and ate it all.
Wonder if that guy is gonna eat his ice cream.
*takes really arty picture of the wing*
Oh no, the aisle guy is asleep and I need to pee. How long can I hold it before I develop a medical problem?
*opens and shuts window quickly and periodically every hour in case of epic landscape / cool clouds / shipping container*
*takes photo of clouds anyway*
Why aren't any of these children sleeping?
*judges someone's choice of film*
I think I'll just rotate my ankles cus you know ~circulation~
I need a wee now. Why always occupied? Oh please person in there don't be hideously overweight with IBS..
Must stand up as soon as we touch down otherwise I might run the risk of looking non-conformist and heaven forbid I'm the last one on the plane.
CAROUSEL NUMBER 8! Oh hi people from the plane. Oh you're taller in real life! Don't make eye contact with me.
Is that my bag? It looks like my bag. Oh wait no that's not my bag. That lady has my bag! Oh wait no never mind.
*tries to look strong when lifting bag*
Yay I'm free!
There are so many different types of people at border control..
I'll just look through my passport and see what an epic traveler I am.
I'm cold / hot
Airports smell funny.
I don't think I've changed enough money.
Wonder if anyone will surprise me at arrivals.
Aaaand nobody came to meet me. Be cool. Don't look disappointed. Act natural.
There you have it! At least these are all the things I think about! Anything else you'd like to add to the list?
X- How was your flight?
Y- Great! Thanks! (just lie it's easier)